The word that describes people’s approach, in general, towards an individual after a mental health diagnosis is unavailable. Before I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2006 I had a lot of support. People believed and invested in me because the individuals with whom I was associated had high hopes of my potential. When I started experiencing symptoms I was left totally alone with the exception of my two roommates. The plans that people had for me were nothing but an afterthought, so they politely excused themselves from my life. I am certain that there were several reasons why the people in my life suddenly disappeared; For one, mental illness is taboo and many people perceive that mental illness is a stigma, and two, because people are uneducated in this area they are disinclined to invest in individuals who are mentally ill.
This issue complicates things for mentally ill individuals, especially transitional youth. There are two things that will make or break any young person in this age category with or without mental illness and that is affirmation and validation.
For example, Old Testament King David had many obstacles because of rejection by his family and community. The defining moment that changed everything about David’s life was the moment that he was anointed king as a teenager. It was not the ceremonial anointing that awoke David’s greatness, it was the fact that the Prophet Samuel affirmed and validated him. David had the makings of a king before the prophet ever stepped on the scene, but it took someone to validate him so that his calling could be cultivated into a destiny
When people in your life such as, parents, friends, churches, or mentors stop investing in you because of a mental illness it is devastating. It took almost three years for me to even begin to recover, and I only began to do so because someone outside of Christianity took time to communicate compassion and confidence.
I had gone three years without anyone believing in me. I attended five different churches and not one individual was willing to “take a risk” and discover my value despite my apparent issues. The end result was that I totally gave up on my future and allowed the mental illness to take me to very dark places that probably could have been avoided if someone would have just given me hope. Why try to get better when everything that I ever dreamed about would remain just that – a dream. If I was going to live my life with no purpose, then I didn’t want to live at all. As a result, I became extremely destructive, engaging in damaging behaviors. Medications could not offer me hope, talking about the past was helpful but it still offered no hope, all I needed was for someone to once again invest in me.
I find it problematic when Christians do not bring forth a message of hope. Whatever happened to the message that “He is our Hope?“ It is a travesty that I did not get the “I’m valuable” message from Christians; instead I was told that I had a “spiritual problem” and that was the cause of my illness. It is a grievous error that many religious bodies equate mental illness with spiritual problems. If bipolar were a spiritual issue then Lithium wouldn’t alleviate symptoms. This being said, if bipolar is a spiritual dilemma then we have found a cure to fight spiritual quandary … Lithium and other psychotropic medications. This sounds absurd, as does branding people with disabilities as spiritually inhibited. The point being, that I never received what I needed from religion and that caused me to question everything about my faith despite my theological training. I knew all about epistemology and systematic theology, but I did not know that I had worth.
The reality is that every one of us has obstacles that could qualify us “damaged goods.” It could be mental, emotional, physical, or social; but the truth is, my challenges with mental illness made me a better person. Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to understand the meaning of light. The greatest individuals I have ever known are people who have overcome life-shattering struggles that should have destroyed them, but there was someone in the shadows fortifying them and cheering them on. I am one of those individuals, only because someone was available to showcase my incredible worth.
Affirmation and Validation May 27, 2010
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